A River is Waiting by Wally Lamb

There are some book scenes I think about daily. 

I think about the moment in Lisa Genova's Still Alice when Alice sees a large black hole in her entry way floor - a scary, never-ending hole that was not there before, and one she couldn't cross. And she sees her purse, hovering, impossibly, on top of the middle of that black hole. 

John Green's Turtles All the Way Down and the quote about 'intrusives', or invasive thoughts. 

'Big Brother is watching you' from George Orwell's 1984 is a quote I use almost daily. 

Pretty much every twist in Gillian Flynn's Gone Girl. I no longer trust explicitly. 

Glimpses from Hamnet, American Dirt and Razorblade Tears. 

These are my Roman Empire. 

After this week, I think I can add a few scenes from Wally Lamb's The River is Waiting to that list. 

I read The River is Waiting in less than 48 hours and not because it was a short, easy read. It is anything but easy and it runs over 400 pages. 

I cried for most of the first few chapters, and had to put it down, walking away from the story. It was too raw. I needed to breathe, to detach myself from it. The emotional weight of it was heavy. I texted the friend who recommended it, and told her "the storyline is destroying me, but I just can't stop reading.  And does the narrator ever become likable?"  She urged me to keep reading and I can't remember the last time I have finished a book so quickly. I speed read the last chapter, wanting to know what was going to happen, and how, and I needed to know now - and also never, ever wanting it to end. 

It was a devastating read for so many reasons. 

If you liked A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara, Razorblade Tears by S.A. Crosby, or My Friends by Frederick Backman, I highly recommend diving into A River is Waiting.  

Gone With the Wind

In honor of the 10-15 mph winds happening all day here in Houston, I have to say that I am so glad that this one is GONE WITH THE WIND.

This is quite possibly the longest book I have every read. 

Halfway through my read, I sent my fellow booklover the meme of Rose from The Titanic with the caption, 'It's been 84 years'.... and I felt every minute of that. 

It was a slog of a read. Not a redeeming character among them. In fact, I think I liked each character worse as the book progressed, and I already didn't like the lot of them by page 700. The one character I thought was interesting, and might actually have redeeming qualities? I wound up hating him the most. 

I know I should love it. It's a Pulitzer Prize, winner for Pete's sake! It's a national treasure! I've quoted Rhett's famous last line! And I absolutely should have read it by now, Lit Major that I was. (And no, before you ask, I have not seen the movie.)  Even my Goodreads profile said that I had read it. I must have lied. I can unequivocally say that before this month, I had not. If I had, I would have never have finished all 1448 pages again, for a second time. Once was enough for me. 

I mean, don't get me wrong, it was a very well written book. And I rooted for each of these characters at various times. 

(Spoilers ahead, but seriously, if you haven't read it by now, are you really going to?!??) 

Yay For Scarlett for defending her home and feeding her family in such a dire time. Boo on her for marrying TWO different men men who were already 'engaged' - one to a kind, loving friend AND one to her OWN SISTER. And how awful is it that those men would marry her anyway? Trust me, I do not place the blame solely on Scarlett. Those men are grown men acting like teenagers. Even if Scarlett had not, hadn't they heard of loyalty? It was a different time, yada yada yada. I know. But, true gentlemen are true gentlemen across centuries, right? It is transcendent of time?

And that is just the beginning of her transgressions and debacles. She excuses so much behavior in herself as necessary and just, but is, in reality, entitled. She wants things because she wants them, and that's that. 

Ugh.

And Melanie. She was so sweet and thoughtful, so loving and inclusive at a time when being exclusive was the norm. When judging was a way of life, expected. But, oh, she was so good, and so, so blind. What's the saying - Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me? How about fool me seventeen times? Twenty? At some point, I just lost count.  How good can one woman be and still have her eyes open? Or was she really not that good, and this was her way of keeping her friends close and her enemies closer? 

I have to say, that didn't even occur to me as I was reading the novel, but now, it kind of redeems her character a bit. Could it be that there was more to Melanie that I had suspected while reading? Or is this just wishful thinking that her character may be deeper than meets the eye?

Ashley. There is nothing to be said about Ashley except, yikes. That man (and I use that word loosely) had no backbone, and would not have survived if it was not for the two women who supported him, in their different ways. (Which, if I were doing a real book review, would be one of my summaries of this book. This is a book about women. This is a book about women propping men up, and the men who pretend that they are doing themselves.)

Finally, Rhett. He was the one man I was cheering for in the first 900 pages. I wanted so badly for him to be the saving grace of the book - a rascal, yes, but one who was honest about being a rascal. I like rascals - they make life interesting. And I think he was all of that. . .. until the last fifth of the book. He was so strong, and he was sarcastic and cutting, yes, and playing his own kind of waiting game, but it was different than the games the others played. It had an element of sincerity to it, something I never felt with Scarlett. But then he just kind of lost steam. And the last twenty pages - his final scene with Scarlett?! Maybe he was just jaded from years of back and forth, years of schemes and behind the scenes ruthlessness; but this last scene reeked of a little boy who got everything he wanted for Christmas, and then decided he wanted something else instead. 

But, if, even after this review, you want to toil your way through 1448 pages of angst and narcissism (before psychology had even coined the phrase) - this copy of Gone With the Wind is all yours in my Little Free Library!

1448 Pages of Pure Pre/Post Civil War Bliss

Leave The World Behind By: Rumaan Alam

I have a love hate relationship with NY resolutions. 

I love them- it’s like opening a new book. I can almost feel the thick crispness of unopened pages, smell the untouched words in the fresh start of a New Year. 

Admittedly, I’m a huge fan of self help and listen to Brene Browns audiobooks on repeat, interspersed with Rahit Sethi and Jen Hatmaker, amongst others. So it should be no surprise that New Year’s resolutions are totally my jam. 

I have many this year. This is the year I’m getting my finances in order! I’m losing 20 lbs and running a 10k! My house will be uncluttered - and I won’t buy more stuff to junk it up! Date night at least once a month! More game nights, less phone scrolling! 

And this is the year I’m going to review every book I read. 

All 100+.

 Starting today. 

I began Rumaan Alam's Leave The World Behind in 2023, but was sidetracked by the holidays, so it gets to be my first book of 2024! I had been hearing about this book for a few months. 

When the Julia Roberts adaptation came out on Netflix, the book got a revival (at least it did in the book clubs I’m a part of) and it became very polarizing. Readers either loved it or hated it. I LOVE books that are hated. I don't trust books that everyone likes AND get good reviews, so I was very excited to try this one.

 I was less than one chapter in when I began rolling my eyes at the writing. It was so over the top, so superfluous that I wondered if he had his thesaurus open on one screen while typing the manuscript on another. Copy paste. Insert new word here. 

Then as I read further, I either stop noticing it in the flow of the story, or the author stopped doing it. I started to think the word usage was intentional- the flowery writing was an extension of the characters. None of the characters were particularly likable or noteworthy. In fact, they had such indistinctive qualities that I kept getting Ruth and Rose confused - two female characters with practically nothing in common. One an older black woman, the other a white tween daughter. But the similarities in name and sameness among them all had me rereading sentences. 

The first half of the book was hard to get through, but after that, the pages flew by until all of a sudden I only had two chapters left and I was wondering how the author was going to wrap this all up. 

I try to avoid spoilers, so I won’t tell you how it ends. But it turns out I’m in neither the love it or hate it camp. I’ve hated books before - books I couldn’t get through at all or ones I finished and threw across the room, eager to get away from it as quick as possible. This was merely meh. I absolutely loved some of the plot points, such as the descriptions of and plot points of the animals. I also love psychological thrillers and apocalyptic stories, both of which fit neatly within this storyline. But I didn’t feel the terror or doom I wanted to feel, merely a “hmmm” and a thought of what I would do, how I would react.

I gave Leave The World Behind a solid 3 stars on Goodreads. Rumaan Alam is an excellent writer, although it can take some time to get used to the flowery writing style. I wouldn’t recommend it, won’t read it again and have no desire to see the movie (even if it is starring the amazing Julia Roberts) but I wouldn’t talk anyone out of reading it. I can see how the right audience might enjoy it.

Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir

"I love Rocky!" My daughter said from the backseat of the car.

"Me too. Can we listen to it again?" asked my on from the passenger seat beside me.

"Happy Happy Happy!" I heard from the backseat. 

"Yes!" said my son. "Happy Happy Happy!"

It was my second time reading Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir, and the first time on audiobook. I had read the book soon after its 2021 release. I had read his previously released books Artemis and The Martian, and searched his authors profile. He is a self-professed space nerd (as you can guess) and used to be a computer programmer. And he's very witty. Slyly funny. Sneak up on you, chuckle to yourself smart funny. I love that trait in people, but especially in authors.

I was almost 7 hours into my 15 hour read when we had two hockey games in one weekend, with a 2 hour drive roundtrip each time. Normally I listen to the audiobooks while on walks, or while cleaning and the kids are at school. That way I don't have to worry about certain words or mature situations they shouldn't hear. But with almost 8 hours in the car over three days, I wanted to use my time finish the book.  The kids headphones were glued to their ears anyways, so I would be listening alone.

Or so I thought. 

I'm not sure when it actually happened, but at some point in our first day driving to hockey, my 12 year old son began listening. 

"What is this?" He asked. I gave a brief synopsis of the story and resumed the audiobook. Over the next hour he would occasionally press pause and ask questions. "What is xenon? Where is Erid? What is the Hail Mary?" We'd discuss and continue listening.

After the hockey game (he won!), we had barely pulled out of the parking lot before he piped up again. "We can listen to your book again. If you want."

Oh, I did want. 

I knew after reading Project Hail Mary that I would want to listen to the audiobook, too. Some books were just made to be audiobooks (Hello, Daisy Jones and the Six!). Or maybe it is just that the narration is THAT good. Narrator Ray Porter sounds exactly as I imagine Dr. Ryland Grace to sound, and Rocky... well, Rocky is Rocky. Wonderful, serious Rocky.

My 10 year old daughter jumped into Project Hail Mary with an hour or two left in the book.  "Who is Rocky?"  

Which, after a lot of explanation and the finishing of the last chapter, led to her exclamation. "I love Rocky!"

We then began a deep dive into audiobooks. We finished Project Hail Mary on a Monday night, on our way home from hockey practice. Immediately, the question became "What next?'

Since then, we have listened to Refugee by Alan Gratz (my son's choice), Atomic Habits by James Clear (my choice), Bomb by Steve Sheinken (my son's choice),  and The Bicycle Spy (both kids choice). All because one day we listened to a really interesting book on a really long drive.  So, thanks, Andy Weir and Ray Porter for writing and narrating a book so well that even my tween kids approve. 

Carl Hiassen Squeeze Me

 Carl Hiassen Squeeze Me

It reads like an over-the-hill name-dropping slightly redneck Crazy Rich Asians meets I Feel Bad About My Neck. It's a tongue in cheek fictional story using easily recognizable political figures as a backdrop for a story that spans more and more crazy, but, which surprisingly, does not make it any less believable. 

That's part of the charm of using such an easily recognizable figure as a plot point. We, the reader, can see how point A leads to point B which leads to point C and so on and on. Crazy begets crazy. Foolishness leads to other foolishness. 

As usual, Carl Hiassen gives the reader a fun, easy read with his usual dry humor and biting wit. 

This was a recent book, published in 2020, and within it are tidbits that make it memorable to these pandemic years. These little nuggets pop up occasionally, treats that make me wonder - in twenty (thirty, forty) years when a reader chooses this book, will they read this part and even understand it? Or will we as a society, as a world, be in a different place and the reader will think 'What? What does that even mean?'?

Like this quote: 

"Later, he and 18.4 million other Americans would watch the viral YouTube video, almost all of them wondering why the President of the United States was holding a Bakongo tribal fertility mask over his face, how he had come to choose such an unusual artifact, and whether it was a safe alternative for an N95."

If that don't scream 2020, I don't know what does. 

Clay's Ark by Octavia Butler

 It's disconcerting to pick up a book about a raging, unknown virus and find that it is set in the year 2021. It was written in 1984.

Ironically (or maybe not??), when I read 1984, it was probably 1998 or '99, so it was a book set in the future that was already in my past. Therefore, the idea that 1984 may actually look like that was intriguing in a creative sense, but couldn't actually happen, because, well, it hadn't. 

But to read a futuristic novel published 37 years before this year that coincidentally (or maybe not??) is set in this year, and then to have it be similar to events we are currently dealing with.....well, it's uncanny. 

It makes me wonder - why 2021? Why did the author take that particular year in the future and think, yes, this would make a great year for my futuristic virus novel? It almost feels deja vu-like, similar to how in a dream you KNOW you are in a dream and you know that whatever you are thinking you can make happen because it isn't real, but it still feels so dang real. Just knowing that out of all the future years she could have chosen, Octavia Butler chose the year 2021 for her book Clay's Ark is eerie. 

It got weirder as I continued to read. While the storyline and virus complications don't mirror this past year or this particular Coronavirus in our current pandemic, certain lines startle me with their clairvoyance.

'Listen! We're infectious for as much as two weeks before we start to show symptoms - except for people like you who won't have two weeks between infection and symptoms. How many people do you think the average person could infect in two weeks of city life? How many could his victims infect?'

So eerie when compared to today's CDC recommendations for quarantine for those who have been around people with Covid 19 - but who are not showing any symptoms. 

'"You're worse than a Goddamn Typhoid Mary!"

"A what?" ..... 

"A carrier," Zeriam said.  "A disease carrier so irresponsible she had to be locked up to keep her from spreading her disease."'

Clay's Ark was part of the latest book bundle I received from my local library. (Yes, I caved and asked for more sci-fi! I'm still in my rut/kick. What can I say? I enjoy this genre!) Also included were Michael Crichtons' Andromeda Strain, Blake Crouch's Recursion (which I have already read and highly recommend!), and Steven James Synapse. 

I chose to read Andromeda Strain first, since I have read others by Crichton and have enjoyed them. It was interesting, but I was a little let down by the end of it. In fact, it was so forgettable that I actually just googled "how did Andromeda Strain end" to remind myself. 

Next, I picked up Steven James Synapse and was less than two pages in when my brain screamed "trigger warning!!!". Maybe it's because I know people who have dealt with or are dealing with childlessness or losing a child, but I felt that this book needed a warning stamped on the front cover for this particular wrenching situation. I immediately put the book away. 

Blake Crouch was a pandemic find of mine in late2020 and I highly recommend his books. If you are into time travel, pandemics and the human psyche, definitely check out both Dark Matter and Recursion. 

The Mothers by Brit Bennett

 You know how some books take time to ease you into the story, developing characters and plotlines and then halfway through - or even at the very very end (I'm looking at you The Silent Patient!) they drop a bomb that makes the whole book explode?

The Mothers by Brit Bennett is not one of these stories. 

The Mothers dives right into the hard, heavy stuff. Within two pages of reading, there is a suicide and a teenage abortion. I don't like to tell much about plot, because I hate hate hate book spoilers. But with that information being thrown at the reader within the first chapter, it's not much of a spoiler. 

It doesn't let up the entire book. 

Page after page these characters are dealing with their actions (both in the present and in the past) in the ways that seem so achingly human to me. We, as a species, do not act and feel in linear lines. We have waves of highs and lows, of feeling happy and sad, aware of how our actions affect others and focused so intently on ourselves that we forget to include the rest of the world.  These characters changed and grew, but are always completely and totally themselves. 

It wasn't an easy read, or a light read, but I think it was an important one.

I read this story on the kindle app on my phone and I took screenshot after screenshot of lines and ideas to remember and write down. Moments in the book that shouted out at me to listen to them. 

A few of those lines:

"Like most girls, she's already learned that pretty exposes you, and pretty hides you and like most girls, she hadn't yet learned how to navigate the difference."

 "Poorness never left you, she told him. It was a hunger that embedded itself into your bones. It starved you, even when you were full." 

"magic you wanted was a miracle, magic you didn't want was a haunting."